You gotta believe

If I've learned anything through out this process of losing weight and getting healthier is that it's more of a mind game than you want to believe. The very first step I had to make, the first step we all have to make, is to believe in yourself and know you can do it. The biggest obstacle you will face is not the grocery store, or finding the time to work out, it's your thoughts. 

Dare I say that most of us battle some inner demons that try to convince us we can't do what we want. "You'll never lose the weight, why do you even bother?" is the thought rolled around my mind for years and years. It's why I was fat for eight years, because I didn't really believe I could do it. Repeated failures had convinced me that I was doomed to being the fat girl forever. I would cry myself to sleep at night and break down in the dressing rooms at stores while shopping for clothes because I hated how I looked, but felt helpless to change it. That's where I was wrong, I wasn't helpless. None of us are powerless to change ourselves. Nobody can stop you, but you and you have to get over that mental road block of "can't" before you will get anywhere. 

I think it's the easiest thing in the world to say you're going to do something, but taking that next step and doing what you say you're going to do is an entirely different story. If you're anything like me that little voice is always there nagging me, "You can't do it! You're never going to get there. There's too many pounds to lose. You're worthless." I had to push through those negative thoughts and keep reminding myself every day that I COULD do it. One decision at a time, one meal at a time, one work out at a time, I DID it, and am still doing it. I think I've shocked a lot of people who didn't believe that I could do it, and I love that. I'm not even sure my husband believed I could lose as much as I've lost, but he's learned now not to underestimate me. Nobody is going to tell me what I'm capable of, I decide that, no one else. 

It kills me when I see or hear people say, "I wish I could be like you, I wish I had your dedication, but I just don't." I want to scream at them, "YES YOU CAN!!!!" You CAN do it, but nobody is going to do it for you. You have to want it more than you want anything else. And you've got to believe that you DO have the strength and power to push through the negativity. It's not going to happen over night, you will not wake up tomorrow fifty pounds lighter. It takes work, you have to realize that. But you also have to realize that it is worth it, so VERY worth it. My hope is to help people understand that and start believing that what they think is impossible is possible.

Recognize the Baby Steps

Making the choice to live healthier is not an easy one. There are so many different aspects to 'healthy' that it can seem overwhelming. What kind of exercise to do, how long, how frequently, what to cut out of your diet and what to cut back on, where to eat out, healthy choices on the fly. What do you tackle first? You can't possibly master everything all at once. It's a learning process and it's not plausible to completely transform your life over night.

It can be really easy to focus on the bad choices you make through out the day instead of the good. However it's those little choices that start to add up that will make the difference in the long run. So you "only"walked a mile instead of running two, or went out to eat dinner and "only" brought half of it home, or only had one soda instead of three today. Don't focus on what you didn't do but what you DID do! Those tiny changes will start to transform the way you think and act and will eventually grow into bigger choices that won't be nearly as difficult to make. A month from now you will be able to run those two miles and look forward to doing it. You will pick grilled chicken when you go out instead of pasta with cheese sauce, and cut back to one soda a week instead of every day.

These are what I like to call the baby steps. The seemingly small and insignificant choices that we make that no one else may notice, but YOU should. Be proud of making a choice at all to do something better for your body. Write them down if it helps you realize that you're beginning to change. Eventually the scale will catch up with those choices and you'll be down a pant size before you know it. This isn't about dropping weight as quickly as you can, it's about changing who you are and truly living a healthy life style. The baby steps reflect that more so than any number on the scale.

Technical Difficulties.....and getting started

So apparently you all didn't abandon me. I'm not sure if it's Facebook, iPhone, or what but for some reason none of my posts were publishing to the public eye. I suspected a few times that something may be up when I posted adorable pictures of my son on his birthday and nobody liked them, not even his grandparents, but I couldn't find anything wrong. Here I was getting all offended that nobody was following through and nobody had seen the message that I'd started!

I will eat my words and apologize for cussing you all, but at least it got the word out and now the group is almost to 40 members! You all are awesome and I'm so excited to see where this journey takes us.

Now, onto the business of the whole point of this, my 'method' as I like to call it. Here is my theory, most people reach a breaking point where they finally realize that they've put on some weight are are sick of it and want to lose it. Sometimes it happens when you put on a pair of jeans and have to suck in to button them. Or maybe you had a full body picture taken of you tagged and posted on Facebook and you want to die of humiliation because you hadn't seen yourself in a while. Whatever the reason, you get fed up and decide enough is enough. You get super motivated and tell yourself this is it! THIS is the time I am making it happen and the weight is going to come off. Maybe you bought a famous DVD work out program, perhaps you've bought a book about a particular diet that your best friend's mother's cousin lost 75 lbs on and swears it's a miracle. Maybe you browse Pinterest for an hour and pin a bunch of different work outs and meals. THIS is the time it will happen.

One week goes by, maybe two if you're lucky. You're hard core into the game, passing on every slice of pizza and piece of candy that comes your way. You are ROCKING it. Maybe you've lost 5 lbs. Wahoo! And then.....you hurt your foot in your work out, or your anniversary is coming up and you always go out to an amazing dinner, maybe it's been a hell of a day and the house is a mess and you haven't had two seconds to pee alone, never mind chopping up vegetables and cooking a meal. So you order pizza and have a slice, then two, then three. Or you hit the drive through and get the bacon cheeseburger, large fries and a soda, because that's your comfort food, your "I'm not thinking about what I'm doing" food. You eat it and it tastes delicious. Then the next morning you wake up and wonder what the heck you did. You just blew your whole diet. Then maybe you have a donut because you already screwed up last night, so what does it hurt to have a little something this morning. That turns into "I don't have time for my work out because......" One thing leads to another and you are right back where you started. I know this because I've been there, done that, about a hundred times in the last ten years. You get SUPER excited and make a ton of changes all at once to try and swoop out your old life style and it's just too much. Too overwhelming when push comes to shove and so you let it go.

This is what I don't want happening to you. I have no statistics on this, but I would dare bet it happens to almost everyone who starts a new fitness program or diet. You put all you have into it and it's just too much to deal with long term. The diet is too crazy restrictive or exercise program too time consuming and so you quit.

What I believe is the key to long term maintainable weight loss is slow changes. I'm not going to tell you to get rid of all of the processed food in your house and never eat out again. That's absurd. It's ideal, but most people can't and don't live that way. I also don't believe in one size fits all programs. EVERYONE is different. Everyone has strengths and weakness and different interests. What's going to keep the weight off is finding out what works for you and going with it. If you hate to run, then choosing running as your exercise program is stupid. If you hate fish, then trying to force it into your weekly menus won't work.

What I want to do is help you figure out what works for you. What changes you need to make and the steps you need to take to make it happen. And make no mistake, changes DO need to be made or you would already be at your goal weight. The only way the weight will stay off for good is if you change from the inside out. Anyone can follow a diet program and work out plan and lose weight if they stick to it. The difference in those who keep it off vs those who don't, is the ones who find what they love and keep doing it.

It is a SLOW process. It's taken me nine months to lose 70+ pounds. I've averaged about 5 lbs a month most months and gained weight back and had weeks upon weeks where I didn't lose anything. I swear to you though, if you make changes and eat better and exercise, it DOES come off. I'm living proof of that.

One is the loneliest number

When I posted on Facebook about wanting to start this blog and my group to help others lose weight, the response I got was amazing. I think I had over forty people tell me they were in and wanted to follow me. I was so excited I had so much interest that I got most of the initial work done right away, then just wanted to wait until my husband came home from Afghanistan and settled in before committing to start this. 

I recently created a Facebook group for the challenge, made several posts on my own wall letting everyone know how to join and when I wanted to start. I even provided the link to my group, all anyone had to do was click it and request to join.  I was giddy with anticipation and ready for the flood of email notifications letting me know all of my friends and family had asked to join. I got all of........(crickets chirping)........one request. ONE. 

I'm not sure if it's because the holidays are coming up and everyone is scared to take accountability for what they know will be a two month long gorgefest or what, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit I was really disappointed. Disappointed in the people I know need and want the encouragement and aren't stepping up. Disappointed in myself for getting so excited over something that may not end up happening after all. I just feel bummed out and deflated over the whole thing and most of my motivation is gone to put in the effort when precious few have shown they are going to appreciate it. 

So anyway, if you read this and you want to join, if you aren't willing to let the upcoming holidays scare you away from making the right choices to make you happy, then find my group on Facebook, "Operation Healthy Homefront" and request to join, here is the link https://www.facebook.com/groups/222073547969490/. 

I will upload a questionnaire that I want everyone to complete before beginning and then the template for my 'plan' for you. I will probably give it another week before I throw in the towel. I still like the idea of the blog, but it may not be as interactive as I had hoped or instructive. I'll just have to see what happens.